A-Non-Sequitur

I’ve got to keep writing,
even on days such as these,
when my words would much rather sit beneath my tongue and rot. Don’t bother with me today; I’ve got a lot resting on the containment of my thoughts. There is nothing like having something to say so desperately and finding that the silence is louder than it has ever been. If I screamed, my voice would be drowned by my lips, and never touch the open air. You know this feeling, you’ve been here before—- in the living room some years ago, and the people around you discussing their future—-in the car next to him or her, when there is a defiant line that needs to be drawn—- in your bedroom, when you’ve been pinned as the problem—- in the middle of two people you love, dearly, playing referee.

Roadwork Ahead

Life is full of decisions,
One always has options, and I find this absolutely exhausting at times, especially when I know what I must do. And in those moments, when my amiss nature, a constant companion not easily shaken, leaps from my side to the back of my neck, and rides me like an animal. Digging it’s claws into my flesh down to the bone. It’s the red stains on my shirt that remind me that life is all to real, and that I am all to easily amused by it’s diversions. Happiness, satisfaction, gratification: these things are worthy of pursuit, admirable no doubt, but what will be the cost. How much will you pay dear self, and to whom.

Poignant

I can’t write about love,
No, it’s not the lack there of that has me dried…
It’s every single little thing that’s become romanticized, exploited, disfigured.
Is nothing sacred?

There are times that I find myself standing still,
And my thoughts become like a windmill,
Turning and turning in that perpetual motion around my head.
And when the wind is still, when humanity holds it’s breath,
I can hear the voice of God.


I’m so tired of being scared.

Dear Internet,

I would like to inform you that because of your generosity and availability I am obliged to take complete advantage of you. Not only are you a loyal companion but also you have risen above and beyond every expectation in all your amity. Because this is a give take relationship, I am extremely thankful that you are non-exclusive, and hold you in the highest regard. You are the reason I find myself to be absolutely indulging. Because you have accept me with open arms, and because you have allowed me to express myself in the manner of my choosing, I nominate you as the single most destructive invention known to my existence. How I love you. With you, I can be everything I’m not.
Thank you and good night,
Autumn

We Could Build a Sanctuary

Collect our hats and yarn,
make a house out of cards.
We can try it and see if we like it.
Why not a sky of yellow, and grass, orange.
We’ll plant trees meant for climbing.
Yes, yes, I can see it, we’ll dance around, bare feet.

I’m so tired of being scared.